Da Vinci Was An Assassin's Best Friend

Hey, it's been a while. School started. Deal with it! I brought a friend to ease the pain. Let's take another look into the female psyche.

That's What She Said:
Maggie on Assassin's Creed 2

   Salute, my name is Maggie and I’ll be your narrator for my adventures playing Assassin’s Creed 2. Welcome to Venice! The best parts of this game, though they hardly need stating, are the prostitutes. Those wily felines, who boldly sell their wares in open, broad daylight, taunt Ezio with bright doe-like eyes and seductive giggles. Truly, the Renaissance was a marvelous time when ponderous bosoms and rail-thin waists accounted for 100% of women who could only survive by selling their bodies to raucous sailors. Furthermore, whoever decided to train all prostitutes in effective methods of covert subterfuge and evasion was truly ahead of his time and should be immortalized in song.
   Now, as my boyfriend had previously beaten the game, Ezio was outfitted in his finest regalia, which can best be described as a pimp suit (for those of you who do not see where were going, look up the term ‘foreshadowing’ then go back and reread paragraph one, if you follow, proceed with paragraph two). After quickly consulting my boyfriend on how to hire these ladies of the night, I abandoned my life of murder, assassination, and violent outbursts of Italian emotion for a second career: megapimp.
   I found a collection of lowly, alley-dwelling strumpets and brought them into my world. With my hoes in toe, I meandered around the rich districts of the city attempting to make some coin with my fair ladies. However, it quickly became apparent that my selected batch were a lazy and frivolous group. I was saddened that these girls, to whom I had given everything, were unwilling to repay me in the modest ways which I demanded. On the brink of existential crisis, I realized that all they needed was simple discipline.
Thanks to the miracle of the weapon-switching button, the moment one of my girls refused to work, she received an open-palmed slap to the face the likes of which shook the foundation of her core. In good time, my ladies were on all the street corners, sweet talking the men who walked by. They brought me cash faster than I could recklessly gamble it away.
   Over time my role evolved from enforcer to protector. My night prowlers engaged in a difficult profession, which was often wrought with danger. To ensure a steady cash flow, it was necessary to ensure the safety of my product, which meant laying down the law on anyone forward enough to harm my ladies. If anyone so much as glared at the prostitutes, they were unceremoniously disemboweled and left to bleed out in the street.
   Some have since commented that I did more damage to my employees by letting them see such a traumatic and vicious killing than if I had allowed men to whistle and holler at them. To this I reply that the guards who inevitable arrived shortly thereafter surely caused more damage as they attempted to subdue me for my criminal offenses. Their arrows would fly in all directions, though they were generally aimed at me. Fortunately, I had the good sense to use my prostitutes as body shields to protect myself from such horrors.
In the end, my experiment with prostitution ended in failure. All my employees left me due to fear, mental instability, and untimely death. However, if I learned anything from the rehabilitation of Monteriggioni, it is that entrepreneurs like myself are never unemployed, simply in between ventures. As such, I have no doubt that something new will come to me eventually.

My take:
   Uh... I don't know what to say to this. Half of what she's talking about isn't possible within the game, nevermind the fact that hiring prostitutes comprises approximately 3% of the entire game. I went halfway through without even realizing I could use them.
   This game is pretty great but I personally liked the first one better. A lot of people hated it for being repetitive but I appreciated it as a period version of Hitman, another great game. Assassin's Creed II plays more like "Super Hero for Hire: The Game" since you spend more of your time saving random women stranded on islands (how'd they get there in the first place, you ask? Excellent question!) and racing after pickpockets to get back stolen money than actually ASSASSINATING ANYONE! Doesn't make any sense to me. There are some great parts. I love the DaVinci Code/National Treasure style incorporation of art and history into the game. The museum lover in me actually enjoys looking at the Renaissance era paintings and reading about the history "involving the assassins." Also, since you're not a sole assassin but a man with a family seeking revenge there's an emotional sub-story that makes everything more important. Still... the first game really allowed you to set up assassinations and feel like the master planner of the perfect assassination. This one makes all the assassinations more sloppy. I actually prefer all the free running sections like the tomb raiding areas better. Eh, to each his own.
   Uh, never heard of this game? It plays like GTA but in Italy about 600 years ago. ...cool.

Here's a video showing how prostitutes were MEANT to be used along with some free running, evasion and an assassination. Whoever was playing during the recording is not to great so some of the free running seems jerkier than it is. Also, some of the game seems to start and stop or have frame rate issues, it's the editor taking out all the cut-scenes to avoid copyright infringement.


   No demo but there's 2 extra chapters of story that I believe were originally a part of the game's story but were ranked due to time restraints. They offer some fun challenges and great, yet unnecessary, story plot twists. You can download those on Xbox Live Marketplace or at Xbox.com.

Milo: Babysitter Trainer or Pervert's Delight?

   I find that often times what draws me to a game is not the same thing that draws my girlfriend. Headshots, zombies and gore may not strike my girlfriend as particularly engaging BUT that won't stop her from spending hours customizing her mercenary's mask, much to my chagrin... I found this video of the Fable series creator Peter Molyneux's new game, Milo. Built to take full advantage of the Xbox's new camera, Kinect, which allows players to interact with their games in much the same way as the Wii (but arguably in a much more interesting way), Milo follows the story of a young boy who has recently moved to a new town and is having problems adjusting. You essentially play as a figment of Milo's imagination, there to aid him in his troubles.

    Most of this is explained in the video, but what really got my attention was the different ways men and women interacted with Milo. This video is a demo of the first ten minutes of the game, to which Molyneux is giving a presentation. Most of the video is regarding the game itself but Molyneux speaks, at times, about the different interactions men and women have with Milo. Very interesting. I'm done repeating the words men, women, different, interesting and Milo. Here's the video:



   I always get excited when I find games that look like they'll further the acceptance of gaming as a culture. This one looks like a contender to me. What's a game that you see as a vehicle for mass acceptance? Why?

Other Things Rock Beats Besides Scissors

Ok! As fun as art house, thinking man's, puzzle games are, ENOUGH! I feel saturated by all one of those games I've focused on. Time to move onto something a bit more accessible.

Why Can't We Be Friends?:
Rock Band, Rock Band 2, The Beatles: Rock Band and Green Day: Rock Band
Did I just blow your mind? Yeah, I'm writing about four games but they're all part of the same series AND most of the songs from each game can be played on the other games. The beauty of this game is you don't use a regular (read: boring!) controller to play. There's a guitar controller to play guitar, a microphone to sing, a bass guitar to play bass and drum peripherals for... well, yeah, drums. A team of four can play through a career or just pick up and play in Quick Play songs. The Beatles and Green Day are more specialized games (obviously), so if you buy these ones you're getting a very specific sound. Green Day consists of Dookie, American Idiot and, their new album, 21st Century Breakdown, along with 8 other hits. The Beatles features a broader range of songs from their whole career with three downloadable albums: Abbey Road, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Rubber Soul. One nice feature on these games that isn't on either Rock Band 1 or 2 (though will be available in the upcoming third entry) is three part harmonies. In Green Day, the harmonies are fun and easy to jump into so it's possible to play an instrument on an easier difficulty and sing back up with your friends. The Beatles are a little more complex and require a lot of concentration. But if you can sing and play that game, more power to you. Rock Band (1 & 2) features 56 and 84 songs (respectively) on the disc and over 1,500 songs to download. If you can't find a band you don't like on their service you probably listen to yodeling and you have NO business playing this game. They have songs from the sixties and songs that haven't even come out yet (bands have been known to release singles and entire albums ahead of time on Rock Band or day and date with their albums). Every genre of rock music you'd want: rock, metal, prog rock, alt. rock, punk, country, emo, blues, jam bands, even ska! They've also got entire albums of certain bands including Rush, The Who, No Doubt, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Iron Maiden, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, and there's even a strong rumor that Metallica's Puppet Master will show up soon. There are several difficulty levels to ease players in as well as a no fail mode, which is fairly self explanatory. There are also a lot of peripherals you can buy if you really want to get into the game including cymbals for the drums, a specialized bass guitar that allows two finger up strumming and a fog and light machine that replicates a staged show. I own all of these and can GUARANTEE their awesomeness! This game is great for groups because 4 players (up to 6 on The Beatles and Green Day) can play together and with the huge song list there's bound to be songs, artists, or entire albums you love to hear and are even more fun to play. There's also a real sense of teamwork as you can all activate Overdrive simultaneously to get a big score multiplier or use your overdrive to save a band mate who missed too many notes and got kicked off stage. Also, each instrument has its own role: the guitar has solos, the drums have fills you can improvise on and solos, the bass gives you a 6x multiplier as the supporting instrument and vocals allow you to add any kind of rock growls you want between lyrics. Honestly, why are you still reading this? Buy it now. Buy it NOW!!

Here's Welcome Home by Coheed & Cambria on Rock Band 2:



American Idiot on Green Day: Rock Band (The "Woo"s are the singer activating Overdrive):



And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise) on The Beatles: Rock Band:



The dlc is so numerous I can't link all of it. I CAN, however, link you to list a of all the officially available artists and a list of the (mostly) indie bands that put themselves on Rock Band with a few exceptions like Third Eye Blind and Steve Vai. There's also a demo of Green Day: Rock Band available on Marketplace if you're interested.

Back Seat Gaming: Less Annoying Than Being Stuck in Traffic

Here's a treat. Something I'm excited for and hopefully you are too. Solid evidence that all this works (go ahead, try and disprove it!). Just because she doesn't read this, doesn't mean she doesn't exist. ...or care. ...I'm pretty sure she loves me. Here is this weeks...

That's What She Said:
KS (my girlfriend!) on LIMBO
So, let me start off my saying that I NEVER watch Aidan play video games. With that said, he just downloaded this new game called Limbo, which is REALLY cool. He started it and I was really intrigued by the art style, so I continued watching. Beginning the game, you have NO idea what it's about, its purpose, the control buttons--anything. It's dark and scary but also totally awesome. Even though this game isn't technically co-op, Aidan and I play it as if it was. He plays while I watch and we both try to figure out the puzzle-like problems that present themselves to our little boy. We watch out for bear-traps, evil spiders, and mischievous mechanical equipment while trying to climb chains, ladders, and boxes to get where we want. I am not normally a video game person, and would really never choose to play on my own, but this game is really amusing and I love the style of it. It's also very fun to be a backseat gamer :)

My take:
Like she said, this isn't a co-op game (though not everything she said is factual. Why would she lie and say she wouldn't play games if it weren't for me?...) but it is an amazingly fascinating game! She's dead on in the description. It's all in black and white and follows the story of a boy traveling through Limbo to find his sister. You don't know anything else. How she got there, how you followed her, what this place is. These are all questions that, as far as my play through has been going, aren't answered. But instead of bogging down the player with back story and trying to make sense of the scenario just tasks you with the sole goal of your rescue. The art style is amazing, the puzzles are usually complex and physics based so it doesn't require secret know how, just a knowledge of how gravity and friction work and the ability to think several steps ahead. Despite no dialogue, music or narrative of any kind, the game is very engaging and you genuinely care for the little boy and his plight. Again, not a great choice for your girlfriend since it's not co-op and the game throws you in with no tutorial or explaination of how the game'll play. Still, it's engaging and the puzzles may require two heads. At least that's better than one.

This may be a little enigmatic but the art style alone warrants a purchase. Watch three seconds of this video and then buy it. BUY IT!:



You may purchase this fine product for $15 through your Xbox Live Marketplace or on Xbox.com.

Candy Pun... I'm Very Tired

Who wants to place bets on whether I'll have something for you tomorrow or not? Do I hear $5? $5? Do I hear $10!?

Make-Up Sets:
Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise
This game comes in a very deceptive package. On the outside it's all cutesy animals (technically, pinatas) and gardening. BUT! The game borrows a lot from Animal Crossing and Pokemon. The premise is: you have a garden. A real piece of work at first, but as you start clearing out the debre and planting different flowers and vegetables you attract various wild pinatas to your plot of land. There's a HUGE variety of pinatas to encounter (a bunny, a horse, a snake, some birds, a bear, some bugs... you get the idea), get to know and learn about and each of those species has different needs too. Some require specific plant life to be present in your garden, some need a certain amount of water or sand, some need other pinatas as friends or food. As you capture pinatas you may name them whatever you like, build homes for them, dress them up and then breed them! Once you establish yourself you may go into town and visit the shops, the pinata hunters, the builders and start selling your garden. Give it a name and a symbol so people know about it. The point of the game is to discover. Attract all the varying pinata life to your garden, grow delicious harvests and accept challenges from the locals (these run the gamut from "Capture me this pinata!" to "Breed me a few of those pinatas!"). As co-op partners, you're both able to plant seeds, water the plants, and care for the pinatas. I can't speak for co-op over Live but same screen co-op limits player two's interactions by not allowing them to access the stores, so no buying or building. But they have other abilities, one called "Magic" which I still don't understand that seems to make whatever you use it on... better. Yeah, better. ...it's fun. Check it out!

Here's a clip of someone visiting various gardens. You'll get a chance to see the different ways players set up their gardens and the many pinatas they've tamed. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any of the farming aspects or purchasing new seeds or equipment:



This game's a bit harder to find but you can purchase this virtual, candy-filled Eden on Amazon.com for $20
or Buy.com for $15. If you're still unsure of a purchase there's a free demo you can download through your Xbox Dashboard or on Xbox.com. Enjoy!

Ok! ...My Bad.

So... I haven't exactly been the epitome of responsible with this blog. ... my bad. So, I left you all hanging last week with a competitive game. So, THIS week I'm going to (attempt to) redeem myself with two cooperative games. By the way, did anyone get my almost nonsensical, poorly conceived double entendre last time? In case you missed it, here it is again:

Make-Up Sets: (Haha!)
Castle Crashers
This is a stylish cartoon brawler available on XBLA. It allows four players to play as adorable little knights on a quest to save four adorable little princesses (all wearing corresponding colors) and to save the kingdom from a nasty (yet still cute) gang of villains. Each knight has a unique weapon and a special set of magic. The blue knight controls ice, red fire, orange lightning and green poison. On your quest you discover new items such as improved weapons, a bow and arrow, a shovel for digging up hidden items, a boomerang, and more. There are also animals throughout the game you may capture and tame that give you different bonuses: a giraffe allows you to jump higher, a sea horse allows you to sprint through water, and a giant floating eyeball shoots lasers ...so there's that. As you progress you level up your character in several different areas: strength, defense, speed and magic. All this customization gives you the chance to create a unique playing style that works for you. What's great about the game is that it hides a lot of depth in simple, accessible gameplay. For the most part, the game plays like a beat em up. Mash the X and Y buttons and you'll get far in the game. Learn how to block, when to use your magic, and how to use teamwork and you'll get even farther. And you'll do it faster. With more... flair. All this accessibility and it's incredibly funny. It's a very charming world with delightful characters and the levels are short if your lady friend doesn't like long stints of gaming. One problem is that the game is designed for 2-4 player co-op which is great for date night but not as fun when she goes to bed and you want to play "just one more level" (lies beget more lies, guys). Also, when there are four players on screen the action can get a bit chaotic.

Here's a clip of the first level showing four player action, leveling up, the animals, weapon swapping, two bosses and the humor. Oh shit! Did I mention the humor?!



You can download the game on your Xbox for $15 or download the trial on Xbox.com. It's worth every penny. Trust me. There's also two pieces of dlc available that offers new characters, weapons and animals that are also available on Xbox.com.

Who Is... About To Throw A Tantrum If They Don't Win The Next Round!?

Hi, KS! How's your blog going? I'm trying to keep most vagrants off my site. It's working like a charm so far. Guess what I'm writing about today?

Let's Get It On!:
Scene It!: Box Office Smash
This may sound strange... stay with me. Scene It is a movie trivia game that's as fun as it is intense. The game comes with four special controllers that work like game show buzzers and allow you and up to three friends to plow through several rounds, each consisting of different types of questions revolving around (duh!) movie trivia. One question type shows you a picture from a movie and has you identify what prop or person is missing from the photo. Another shows high school photos of popular actors and actresses and gives you the task of guessing who they are. Another shows you four movies with a common theme (a particular actor, era, genre) and has you rearrange them in the order they came out. Some of them require you to buzz in and answer and some allow everyone to answer before a timer runs out. There are three rounds, the last of which involves 5 questions, and after each correct answer you gain a mutliplier (2x, 5x, 10x). This can really alter scores before the end of the game and tempers flare because of it. Many a night my friends and I gather around the tv to start an enjoyable night together and find the evening ending in screams and curses. It's not just enough to have seen a lot of movies though. Some show clips of movies and require an attentive eye for details. Others require you to be good at anagrams. Others just require fast reflexes. This makes it fun even for those who don't frequent the theatre. The one thing that makes the game drag a little is the narrators. Their... "personalities" are a bit hokey. But, with three friends in the room, they're easy to make fun of and ignore.

Here's a round of "Name That Sketch":



And here's another fun game. Don't remember what it's called:



"Name the Invisibles"! I mentioned this before:



You can find this overlooked gem with the buzzers at Amazon.com for $29.95 or purchase the game solo at NewEgg.com for $19.99. There's also dlc that adds 800 new questions about award winning movies and a new puzzle mode called Pop Quiz. It's selling for $7.50 on Xbox Live Marketplace.