Grand Theft Auto Minus... Any Sort of Crime Whatsoever

Oh my gosh! A pretty girl is writing on my blog again! (drool...) Well... sort of. Not really.

That's What She Said:
My buddy Lefty on his girlfriend Maggie's play style in Grand Theft Auto IV
The only time I ever drove at an appropriate speed in GTA IV was moments after brutally murdering the owner of, and then stealing, the Banshee. I had yet to mar the pristine outer body and there were no scratches or scars anywhere to be found. For those shining seconds, I could pretend to be a Liberty City high roller instead of a degenerate Eastern European with a ‘special’ cousin. However, the moment my Banshee received the inevitable, accidental scratch, it was pedal to the metal until I careened into a Jersey barrier at 185, launched out of my windshield at multiple Gs, and received a merciless beating by the police before being arrested for murder.
All of this is the long-winded set up to my girlfriend’s (Ed. note: Maggie)first experience with Niko and Liberty City. After coming over and seeing me desperately trying to outrun a helicopter on foot (an event I passed off as extreme training for the Liberty City Marathon) she realized my invitation for dinner and a movie was really clever boyfriend-speak for “I am playing video games”. Accepting the plight of her situation, she informed me that it was her turn to play. I gave her the reins and explained the controls whereupon I left to get a tasty beverage. When I returned, I expected to find her pinned between a building and a SWAT van while police arrester her for T-boning a minivan going 135 (my usual M.O.).
To my shock, she was waiting in her car at a red light (something I had yet to notice while playing). When the light turned green, she gently accelerated and took what can best be described as a completely street legal turn onto another road. She followed the flow of traffic, drove defensively, and kept her hands on the 10 and 2 positions of her controller. How she knew the road would eventually lead to a clothing shop I will never know (perhaps genetics or just her finely-tuned feminine sensibilities). Nevertheless, she preceded to buy the most expensive clothing, transforming Niko from a drunken, slovenly pariah into an upstanding, even dapper, young man.
After this she got back into the car she arrived in (another feature of which I was totally ignorant) and preceded to respectfully, even politely, head home. She slowed down at tolls to pay the correct amount, and lightly hit the breaks when ‘some asshole’ cut her off. Indeed, the only moment she lost her cool was when my in-game love interest called, wanting to go on a date, which I made her do. The humor of going on a virtual date with a fake woman instead of a real date with a real woman was apparently lost on my girlfriend. Throughout this entire experience, it felt as though I was watching a whole new game. Sure, the city looked the same, and the people acted the same, but there were subtle differences. While she played there was much less terrified screaming, wailing sirens, and booming gunshots.
As she drove by a police car, the officers seemed to smile at her, even gave her friendly waves. This was a far cry from the tense feeling in my stomach I got when I drove by the ‘po’. Surprisingly, my girlfriend enjoyed this version of GTA IV, and talks about it to this day. She enjoyed the immersion in a different world, and all the fun, albeit mundane, things that could be done in a game as complex and expansive as GTA IV. For experienced gamers, these things are often overlooked in favor of the cheats that give you helicopters and RPGs. However, they are nonetheless visually and aesthetically impressive. Sometimes it just takes a different perspective to notice it.

My take:
Um... I guess you can play GTA IV like the Sims, if that's what you're into. I played halfway through this and didn't really get into the story but found some of the missions fun. When MY girlfriend plays GTA (read: once in a blue moon) there ARE a trail of bodies in her wake. Not that she lasts long but... I guess this is the kind of game that's so big and open it's everything to everyone. You can delve into the story (me), blow off some deep seated steam (for whatever I did, I'm sorry baby...) or... go shopping. I want to say that's cool but... no, I guess that's pretty cool. There's plenty of crime but there are also dating sim "missions", clothing shops, mini games involving pool, darts and a tetris like game. I wouldn't buy this game for your girlfriend to try with this in mind, however. Few women will enjoy playing as a disgusting, morally ambiguous illegal immigrant as they try on a new pair of slacks. Just take this as a healthy dose of hope that sometimes our girlfriends can and will surprise us and share enthusiasm in the games we play. Just, perhaps not in the way we expect.

Here's a clip of Maggie's play style (I wouldn't watch more than 2 minutes of this):



And here's the rest of the world's (please excuse the quality):



There's some great dlc for this game and though it's expensive for dlc ($20 each) they're both totally worth it.

So, here's a question, what do YOU think is wrong with Maggie? Is it something a frontal lobotomy could possibly cure? That or how do you play GTA IV? Or is there a game you play other than the way it was "intended" to be played?